"Gramps"

Day 7

May 23, 2010

Today would have been Kay’s birthday. Kay is the name he went by, but his given name was Silvon. I think Kay fit him best. The only better name was “Gramps,” since that is what my kids called him. Complications from a routine procedure were very unexpected. We were all unprepared to have him leave so quickly. In less than two weeks it will be one year since his passing. Kay was really the closest thing I have had to a father since mine passed away 25 years ago. I always felt like I could trust him with that role because he reminded me so much of my own Dad, especially his sense of humor.

Kay was a friend to his children, a loyal companion to his wife Ruth (Ruthie to him) and really the best playmate thirty (and counting) grandchildren could ever ask for. He loved adventures and especially enjoyed sharing them with his family. He specialized in Dutch oven chicken fries, but mashed potatoes and gravy was his preferred food for spoon feeding new grandbabies. He was tender especially when he would talk about memories from his childhood, but he preferred not to be too mushy and he definitely did not like having attention on him. He and Ruth were partners in playing guitar, and in service. One of the greatest memories I have of both of them was the time they showed up to help hydro seed our yard. The hose got away from him and he was covered with bluish green gunk all over his face and clothes, but he just laughed. The next summer when the grass came in, he pulled up in his button down work shirt, straw hat, and U haul jacket to mow the grass he had planted. Whitney, my eight year old, cries quite a bit just thinking about him being gone. She loved when he would play bear trap with her, or when he’d rock her on his lap in his big maroon lazy boy. The leather on one side of that chair is worn off because that is where the grandkids would sit next to him. I think every grandchild thought they might be his “favorite.”

When I think of Kay those are the memories that fill me, not the ones at the hospital, although there were very special moments there as well. Ashley and Kaylee, my two teenage daughters, and their cousins took turns brushing his hair. He always loved it when the grandkids did that. He couldn’t talk much, but it was clear that he enjoyed that. Homemade pictures and photographs lined his wall all as a symbol of how much he was loved. His daughters and his wife rarely left his side and his sons tried to maintain their composure as they spoke tenderly to him.

As I thought today about how I saw God’s hand blessing my family, I thought of Kay. What a blessing he has been to all of us and I thank Heavenly Father for letting me have the opportunity to have a real friendship with him. Even more, what a gift eternal life is to us. I know that he is not far, only through a thin veil. He loves his family and I am sure he is working quite hard behind the scenes on God’s errands for Ruth and all of us, because Kay definitely would not want to be left out of any adventure. Today I saw God’s hand in the life of my family in a picture on top of my piano. It’s a picture of Kay.