Day 7
May 23, 2010
Today would have been Kay’s birthday. Kay is the name he went by, but his given name was Silvon. I think Kay fit him best. The only better name was “Gramps,” since that is what my kids called him. Complications from a routine procedure were very unexpected. We were all unprepared to have him leave so quickly. In less than two weeks it will be one year since his passing. Kay was really the closest thing I have had to a father since mine passed away 25 years ago. I always felt like I could trust him with that role because he reminded me so much of my own Dad, especially his sense of humor.
Kay was a friend to his children, a loyal companion to his wife Ruth (Ruthie to him) and really the best playmate thirty (and counting) grandchildren could ever ask for. He loved adventures and especially enjoyed sharing them with his family. He specialized in Dutch oven chicken fries, but mashed potatoes and gravy was his preferred food for spoon feeding new grandbabies. He was tender especially when he would talk about memories from his childhood, but he preferred not to be too mushy and he definitely did not like having attention on him. He and Ruth were partners in playing guitar, and in service. One of the greatest memories I have of both of them was the time they showed up to help hydro seed our yard. The hose got away from him and he was covered with bluish green gunk all over his face and clothes, but he just laughed. The next summer when the grass came in, he pulled up in his button down work shirt, straw hat, and U haul jacket to mow the grass he had planted. Whitney, my eight year old, cries quite a bit just thinking about him being gone. She loved when he would play bear trap with her, or when he’d rock her on his lap in his big maroon lazy boy. The leather on one side of that chair is worn off because that is where the grandkids would sit next to him. I think every grandchild thought they might be his “favorite.”
When I think of Kay those are the memories that fill me, not the ones at the hospital, although there were very special moments there as well. Ashley and Kaylee, my two teenage daughters, and their cousins took turns brushing his hair. He always loved it when the grandkids did that. He couldn’t talk much, but it was clear that he enjoyed that. Homemade pictures and photographs lined his wall all as a symbol of how much he was loved. His daughters and his wife rarely left his side and his sons tried to maintain their composure as they spoke tenderly to him.
As I thought today about how I saw God’s hand blessing my family, I thought of Kay. What a blessing he has been to all of us and I thank Heavenly Father for letting me have the opportunity to have a real friendship with him. Even more, what a gift eternal life is to us. I know that he is not far, only through a thin veil. He loves his family and I am sure he is working quite hard behind the scenes on God’s errands for Ruth and all of us, because Kay definitely would not want to be left out of any adventure. Today I saw God’s hand in the life of my family in a picture on top of my piano. It’s a picture of Kay.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
His Way
Day 1
May 16, 2010
In just one short day I have witnessed that God’s hand in our life can be presented in unexpected ways, and it is not for us to choose how He intervenes, but instead to recognize His presence. I was excited to start my experiment of Elder Eyrings words, and I knew this was the perfect day for it. Today was Stake Conference and I knew that would definitely set a great tone. Last night was the adult session and I was grateful to be taught by the Spirit. I think it helped that I had been asked to say the opening prayer which helped me come early and have a few quite moments desiring to be in tune before I prayed. I brought a notebook to take notes in hopes that I could receive personal revelation for my family. Preparing and desiring to understand led to feeling Heavenly Father’s hand. Good. I decided to follow the same protocol for Sunday.
Of course, with a family of eight to get ready for Conference it was clear from the beginning that things would not run as smoothly as the night before. I thought it would be important to get seats that were close to the projector as we would be having a regional Stake Conference brought to us from S.L.C. It was clear that not everyone would be ready to go early, so I decided to take the three youngest to get a seat and Jon would come later with the three oldest. I quickly found that twenty minutes to the hour only gets a seat in the first overflow. That was fine, though ,because I had my notebook in hand and plenty of distractions for the kids in a full diaper bag. Jon came in with the kids and we were set to go.
What was I thinking? Why do I keep fooling myself with such high expectations? I think I was asked eight times in one hour if one or the other of my kids could get a drink or go to the bathroom. My thoughts drifted as I wondered if they were expressing this same behavior at school. The toys I brought for Olivia were not her favorite and she was sure to let me know that. Jon tried to entertain her by drawing pictures of farm tractors. I was eager to hear from our prophet. Yet, when it was President Monson’s turn to speak, it was my turn to keep Olivia entertained, thus no notes in my notebook.
Towards the end of the meeting my stomach started to hurt. I remembered I had forgotten to take my medication for two days. Missed pills coupled with stress (kids in conference) meant the day in bed. When we arrived home I quickly got into bed-dress, nylons and all. I knew the quickest way for me to get better was to remove myself from any stressful situation. I really couldn’t believe this. I had big plans for today! One of the speakers had counseled us to go home and have our children write about the feelings they had during President Monson’s talk. Now, I am trying to remember what he said. I think it was something about service.I wanted to gather the children together and share what I had learned last night and have them talk about their feelings for the Prophet. Yet, here I was in bed unable to talk with anyone. I wanted so much to be able to write tonight about how we felt God’s hand in our home. What now?
I fell asleep and awoke to the sound of the children doing the dishes (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Ashley was organizing everyone to help around the house. She grabbed my overflowing hamper with whites to be washed. I was so grateful for her help,that I decided not to remind her it was the Sabbath. Jessica started to yell for help. Apparently Olivia didn’t make it to the potty. Jon, who had just laid down for a nap jumped out of bed to clean up the mess. He never did make it back for a nap. Jacob quietly came up to me and asked if I remembered to make him a Danielle Boone costume that was due tomorrow. I knew my procrastination on this assignment would come back to get me! Now what was I going to do? The whole reason I talked him into choosing Danielle Boone in the first place was because we had a raccoon hat, but what else was he going to wear? I was too sick to look for anything. In desperation I called my mother-in-laws for ideas. She was a third grade teacher and an expert in everything like this. She said she had made a Danielle Boone vest thirty years ago, but it would only fit a first grader-Jake was in the fourth grade. I didn’t care I was so grateful to have anything.
As I was going back to bed, Jacob yelled for me. Whitney had been riding in the driveway with her scooter and she had fallen and was crying and holding her arm . The thought came to me that maybe this could have been prevented if I wasn't in bed all afternoon. I brought her into the house, cleaned up her cuts, but her crying only became more intense. The pain in my stomach was so severe I thought both her and I might need to go the emergency room. Jon came in and started giving assignments. Ashley needed to get the vest from grandma after taking Kaylee to a fireside she was singing at. Jessica needed to go find ice at a neighbor’s house since our refrigerator broke down the night before. Jacob distracted Olivia. I tried to help Whitney, but my stomach was in so much pain . Jon sent me back to bed and took Whitney to the doctor. I hated feeling so helpless when my kids needed me.
I lay in bed and wondered why things never turned out like I hoped. I wanted so much to have a spiritual moment in my home today. It was nearly 9:00 pm and I was determined to see how the hand of God had blessed my family. As I was thinking about this, Ashley walked through the door with a simple but perfect hand made Danielle Boone vest for Jacob. Ruth told me that by my voice today she assumed the “ox to be in the mire.” She had found some left over material and made a new vest. I don’t know if I had ever been so grateful for anything in my life. Ashley had taken care of every need in the home. The dishes were done, the kids had socks for tomorrow, and Olivia was cared for. I am really going to miss her when she goes to college this fall. Jacob just came to me in tears. “ I just feel so bad for Whitney.” He cried. “ I don’t want her to hurt.” I hugged him and told him it was good for him to feel this way. As I did I realized some time in his ten years of life he had truly learned how to love. Jessica was determined to be at the beck and call of Whitney. She wrapped her arm in a sling, got her medicine and water, and read her a story to keep her mind off the pain. I really think one day she will be a nurse. Kaylee cleaned Whitney’s room and made her bed so that she could be comfortable. I wondered how many teenagers would bother doing that? Jon spent three hours at Urgent Care finding that Whitney broke two bones in her arm.
I think I do remember that at least some of President Monson talk today was about service. Perhaps this was the best day to start this experiment. So many times I want the spectacular, the unexpected, the great "spiritual moment"as a witness of His pressence. However, when I look at the moments of my very average life, I can find He is there all along. He didn’t come in the way I thought he might, nor by my own design, but today I saw the hand of God blessing my family.
May 16, 2010
In just one short day I have witnessed that God’s hand in our life can be presented in unexpected ways, and it is not for us to choose how He intervenes, but instead to recognize His presence. I was excited to start my experiment of Elder Eyrings words, and I knew this was the perfect day for it. Today was Stake Conference and I knew that would definitely set a great tone. Last night was the adult session and I was grateful to be taught by the Spirit. I think it helped that I had been asked to say the opening prayer which helped me come early and have a few quite moments desiring to be in tune before I prayed. I brought a notebook to take notes in hopes that I could receive personal revelation for my family. Preparing and desiring to understand led to feeling Heavenly Father’s hand. Good. I decided to follow the same protocol for Sunday.
Of course, with a family of eight to get ready for Conference it was clear from the beginning that things would not run as smoothly as the night before. I thought it would be important to get seats that were close to the projector as we would be having a regional Stake Conference brought to us from S.L.C. It was clear that not everyone would be ready to go early, so I decided to take the three youngest to get a seat and Jon would come later with the three oldest. I quickly found that twenty minutes to the hour only gets a seat in the first overflow. That was fine, though ,because I had my notebook in hand and plenty of distractions for the kids in a full diaper bag. Jon came in with the kids and we were set to go.
What was I thinking? Why do I keep fooling myself with such high expectations? I think I was asked eight times in one hour if one or the other of my kids could get a drink or go to the bathroom. My thoughts drifted as I wondered if they were expressing this same behavior at school. The toys I brought for Olivia were not her favorite and she was sure to let me know that. Jon tried to entertain her by drawing pictures of farm tractors. I was eager to hear from our prophet. Yet, when it was President Monson’s turn to speak, it was my turn to keep Olivia entertained, thus no notes in my notebook.
Towards the end of the meeting my stomach started to hurt. I remembered I had forgotten to take my medication for two days. Missed pills coupled with stress (kids in conference) meant the day in bed. When we arrived home I quickly got into bed-dress, nylons and all. I knew the quickest way for me to get better was to remove myself from any stressful situation. I really couldn’t believe this. I had big plans for today! One of the speakers had counseled us to go home and have our children write about the feelings they had during President Monson’s talk. Now, I am trying to remember what he said. I think it was something about service.I wanted to gather the children together and share what I had learned last night and have them talk about their feelings for the Prophet. Yet, here I was in bed unable to talk with anyone. I wanted so much to be able to write tonight about how we felt God’s hand in our home. What now?
I fell asleep and awoke to the sound of the children doing the dishes (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Ashley was organizing everyone to help around the house. She grabbed my overflowing hamper with whites to be washed. I was so grateful for her help,that I decided not to remind her it was the Sabbath. Jessica started to yell for help. Apparently Olivia didn’t make it to the potty. Jon, who had just laid down for a nap jumped out of bed to clean up the mess. He never did make it back for a nap. Jacob quietly came up to me and asked if I remembered to make him a Danielle Boone costume that was due tomorrow. I knew my procrastination on this assignment would come back to get me! Now what was I going to do? The whole reason I talked him into choosing Danielle Boone in the first place was because we had a raccoon hat, but what else was he going to wear? I was too sick to look for anything. In desperation I called my mother-in-laws for ideas. She was a third grade teacher and an expert in everything like this. She said she had made a Danielle Boone vest thirty years ago, but it would only fit a first grader-Jake was in the fourth grade. I didn’t care I was so grateful to have anything.
As I was going back to bed, Jacob yelled for me. Whitney had been riding in the driveway with her scooter and she had fallen and was crying and holding her arm . The thought came to me that maybe this could have been prevented if I wasn't in bed all afternoon. I brought her into the house, cleaned up her cuts, but her crying only became more intense. The pain in my stomach was so severe I thought both her and I might need to go the emergency room. Jon came in and started giving assignments. Ashley needed to get the vest from grandma after taking Kaylee to a fireside she was singing at. Jessica needed to go find ice at a neighbor’s house since our refrigerator broke down the night before. Jacob distracted Olivia. I tried to help Whitney, but my stomach was in so much pain . Jon sent me back to bed and took Whitney to the doctor. I hated feeling so helpless when my kids needed me.
I lay in bed and wondered why things never turned out like I hoped. I wanted so much to have a spiritual moment in my home today. It was nearly 9:00 pm and I was determined to see how the hand of God had blessed my family. As I was thinking about this, Ashley walked through the door with a simple but perfect hand made Danielle Boone vest for Jacob. Ruth told me that by my voice today she assumed the “ox to be in the mire.” She had found some left over material and made a new vest. I don’t know if I had ever been so grateful for anything in my life. Ashley had taken care of every need in the home. The dishes were done, the kids had socks for tomorrow, and Olivia was cared for. I am really going to miss her when she goes to college this fall. Jacob just came to me in tears. “ I just feel so bad for Whitney.” He cried. “ I don’t want her to hurt.” I hugged him and told him it was good for him to feel this way. As I did I realized some time in his ten years of life he had truly learned how to love. Jessica was determined to be at the beck and call of Whitney. She wrapped her arm in a sling, got her medicine and water, and read her a story to keep her mind off the pain. I really think one day she will be a nurse. Kaylee cleaned Whitney’s room and made her bed so that she could be comfortable. I wondered how many teenagers would bother doing that? Jon spent three hours at Urgent Care finding that Whitney broke two bones in her arm.
I think I do remember that at least some of President Monson talk today was about service. Perhaps this was the best day to start this experiment. So many times I want the spectacular, the unexpected, the great "spiritual moment"as a witness of His pressence. However, when I look at the moments of my very average life, I can find He is there all along. He didn’t come in the way I thought he might, nor by my own design, but today I saw the hand of God blessing my family.
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